the things i constantly think about...

most of the time, when i'm idle, you'll see me staring blankly into space. someone approached me ealier today and asked: "Aside from school, what concerns you?". I wasn't able to answer his question right away. and there again, that blank stare plastered on my face. i was looking back at him, but can't find anything to say besides: "i'll think about it and then i'll tell you..." to which he replied a promise...
overnight, i contemplated over that question. i wasn't able to sleep properly coz i've been thinking deeply over the past few hours about this: "take away my job and my role as a student, take UST away from me, what else do i think about? what are the constant things that keep on getting in and out of my mind?" now, as i write this entry, i am recalling most of my 'idle' moments so i can list down all the things that i think about whenever i'm not doing anything that is related to my role as a teacher and a student (just thinking about the ate/anak/friend/traveler/ninja in me)...

first, i think about my little brother:
had he eaten his breakfast already? was he able to arrive at school on time for his first class? are his classmates treating him well? does he ever get angry at me everytime i tell him to turn his laptop off and STUDY, STUDY, STUDY!!!? did he enjoy his lunckbreak? was he able to eat a hearty dinner? did i make him happy when i gave him a new game for his PSP? or the emulator for gaming consoles i installed in his lappy?

i think about my parents:
are they enjoying their post-retirement life? i know how much they wanted me to stay with them but i can't do anything about that at the moment. i think about how sad they are for not having us (my siblings) live with them because we need to work at different places. :( when can i give my dad the car that he really wants? will my savings be able to buy my grandest dream of giving them a European tour?

i think about countries like:
Japan, and how much i wanted to go back there, perhaps live there and work at HMV. Canada, and how i love their Healthcare System. Brazil, wanting to see Rio de Janeiro's Christ, The Redeemer. Cambodia, to see the Angkor Wat. European countries, i have always been fascinated by their marvelous tourist spots.

i think about trying out new things:
para-sailing; bunjee jumping; skydiving; PARKOUR!!!; capoeira; climbing a Level 5 mountain; wakeboarding; skimboarding; boogie boarding; joining the IRONMAN triathlon; COSPLAY; and the list goes on and on...

i think about trying out the things listed above, together with him (whoever he is)...
at the moment, unknown... also quite uncertain when this would be... hehe.

i think about my lost and forgotten hobbies:
guitar, violin, animé, manga, swimming, driving, unplanned trips to Mindoro to surprise my parents, telebabad, reading comics and novels... many many more...

i think about my friends:
will i be able to keep them as my friends even if our hair turns grey? can i fit all my best friends in my wedding entourage? when is PT batch 2007's next reunion party?

now forgive me if the next (and last) item on my "things i constantly think about it" is somewhat related to my work. but then again it's different, because i am thinking about the people at my work, and not my work per se. am i making sense? either way, i'm still going to write about it.

i think about my students:
do they really learn from me? are they able to grasp whatever knowledge/information i imparted unto them? was my voice loud enough so that everyone could here me during my lecture? sometimes, they are also the reason why i don't want to grow old. i'm afraid that at one point in time, i won't be able to laugh with them or discuss with them some "non-academic matters" for the sole reason that i am TOO OLD to relate to whatever they're talking about. :(

let me make this clear. during my free time, i rarely think about my career, nor my studies. i just think (most often than not) about the non-academic things i wanna do and the people i care about and the one i am about to care for for the rest of my life. all of these put a smile, if not, a smirk on my face whenever i daydream, whenever i stare blankly into space.

***now YOU! yes YOU! the one who asked me that question above that made me write this whole entry, it's high time you answer my question: what's in it for you? would you really read this and keep this in your heart like you promised? and if ever you do that, the question still remains: what's in it for you?***

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